Meet Elmer, Who’s Wise Beyond His Years—Er, Months

When PETA’s fieldworkers discovered Elmer wandering outside alone on a chilly autumn day, one word immediately sprang to mind to describe him: crusty. That’s because the tiny kitten’s eyes had almost completely crusted over—a trademark sign of an untreated upper respiratory infection in cats. After a few weeks of care in a foster home, Elmer’s eyes and spirit quickly brightened—but as his new friends will attest, his personality is a little less kooky kitten and a little more gregarious grandpa.

How much of an old soul is Elmer? He eats dinner at 5 p.m. and pays for his catnip mice with exact change. When his foster mom doesn’t pick up the phone, he leaves long-winded voicemeows—from his landline.

Don’t get us wrong, Elmer certainly has spurts of kitten energy and enjoys youthful activities such as playing with toys. He also likes to be picked up and held like a baby as well as climbing on his foster mom’s shoulder. (Don’t tell his buddies down at the American Legion.)

But overall, he’s a laidback lad who appreciates a good nap with his foster brothers—at exactly 74 degrees—in his fluffy cat bed while accompanied by his plushie possum pal. And he’ll definitely get up early, even though he has nowhere to go (except in front of a full breakfast with The New York Times crossword puzzle, obviously—chop chop!).

He also enjoys sitting next to people while they read (check out his latest book club pick), watching TV (he hears there’s a riveting 60 Minutes segment on catnip cultivation), and knitting. (By the way, he could use a new blankie for his favorite cat tree.) And when the sun is shining, he loves to gaze out the window, leaf peeping and birdwatching—and he’ll tell those pesky squirrels to get off his lawn!

While he may be all about those senior catizen vibes, little Elmer is only about 4 to 5 months old. A veterinarian has given him the “all clear” for adoption, but he may still have weepy eyes occasionally. He’ll need a guardian who will be there to dry his tears—and keep him healthy with regular checkups and lysine, an immune supplement. (But he might need a little help opening that bottle—his grip just isn’t what it used to be.)

Ready to meet this playful pensioner? E-mail [email protected] to learn more.